project

I'm not going to find out for about four weeks. I hate waiting. Yet, whenever I think about how much I hate waiting, I then automatically think about IF - If you can wait and not be tired by waiting... And then I usually calm down and realize how good life is. But still, I want plans for this summer. I want concrete plans. I have too many things that I could do.

1. Summer Project
2. Work all summer, save money for Fall Semester
3. Take classes at the U
4. Waste my summer? Roadtrip/chill/kinda work

And they all have pros and cons. A project would probably be the most rewarding. But honestly, the one person that I'd want to spend my summer with anyway, will be gone, (I'm stoked for you though). If I do go on a project, I have to miss the one thing that I have looked forward to for the past two years, that promises to be amazing. That would suck. And not to mention, if I have to find a way to pay for project, it won't work to ask my family to support me to ditch out on the reunion. Whoops. That might epically fail. But do I really want to waste my life away working 8-4 every day, for the entire summer? It's soooooo not worth it. I'm already burned out on school, so I don't want to really take classes. But then again, it would be nice to actually finish a degree in 4 years. Bleh, why do I have to make decisions like this? I don't want to think about my future yet, it's toooooo scary. I'm nineteen, and all the times I've contemplate the future, I just freak out. I have no idea what the future holds. I can't even tell you what I'll be doing in a month, or tomorrow. Seriously, how can I be expected to plan my life, or my summer? Lame, sauce.

I want to go on a roadtrip. I want to go see something beautiful. I want to spend time with some friends, and show them some national parks. I've seen a lot of them, and I'm telling you right now, they are worth your time, because a lot of them are to die for. God is so creative. I want to go to Washington, but that... I doubt would work out. Besides, I'd have to go there by myself, because no one would want to come with me. And I'm not about to do a 30 hour drive all by my lonesome. I can barely stay awake for 3 1/2 by myself. I need people.

Patience...is not my strength, to be sure. I wish that March/April would be over. I want it to be warm, and I want to not do homework anymore. Sad thing is, we're only half done with the semester. So, looks like I'll have to suck it up. Gosh, I need to go do some homework. I should swear off blogspot like I did facebook. Maybe I'd be more productive.