Megara

I won't say it. I won't even entertain the idea that at one point I thought it was true, that it could be. It isn't. I'm too annoyed, and therefore, I'm defensive. Defensive to the point of probably being irritating to everyone around me. I want to go back to the sunshine, because this rain is not helping. But I put on a smile anyway, because actually, life is good, and I still see so many blessings, and so much love everywhere, so much hope. I can't decide if I should mope, or if I should take things as they are, and realize that I learned something, and that somehow, it will work out for the best. I know that it's true, that there's a purpose to it all, but at the moment, I can't see it. Yet I refuse to doubt that there's a purpose, because God has been so faithful in my life. He has shown how perfect his timing is, over and over again. I'm not going to think that this time, He's done something wrong. He hasn't.

Gosh, sometimes I swear I'm bipolar. I mean, I'm not, and I know that I'm not, but still...
I thank God for pen and paper, for online journals, for word documents, for any outlet I have to think through life. I don't know what I would do without them sometimes.