wow

I wish that I could help. But there are some times, when I can't. I want to be able to say something, that might ease the mind just a bit, that might relieve some of the pressure, yet I am at a complete loss for words. I don't know how to deal with the situation at hand. I'll do the one thing that I can - pray.

This weekend, no homework was accomplished. Why must there always be something else to do? I have a love/hate relationship with weekends. I worked Friday night. Watched Rent with Alyssa. A movie that I had not yet seen, but I don't think I'll ever need to see again. The music was good, but it's a terrible movie. Saturday, we did indeed make pancakes for the dorm, and it was pretty much fabulous. Chocolate chip pancakes on a blizzard-y Saturday = smiles and happy college students. That was fantastic. Saturday night was the Freshman dinner, which was a blast. Then the girls and I dyed my hair, and watched Becoming Jane.

It is the most depressing movie I think I've seen. I forgot how sad it made me the first time, when I saw it in theaters with Rae. Ohmygosh. Other than, say, the Passion, I don't think I've been as sad during a movie. (Please don't bring up the Notebook. Least fave movie, just because everyone was obsessed with it, and it isn't that amazing). Anyway, yeah. So that was Saturday. Completely non-homework. Today, we went to the later church service, and then the bus took an hour to get back to the dorms, which is absolutely ridiculous. I had brunch, went on a run, went to the Lady In Waiting book thingie, came back...and had a talk with a friend. I just got back from a food run, and I'm sitting here, wondering what happened to my weekend, and all the time that I was going to use to write a paper/study for an exam. I'm such a terrible student.

I made a friend of mine apparently feel responsible for something today. I didn't mean to, and the problem in question has absolutely nothing to do with them, but I guess it came across the wrong way. I hate when that happens. I hate miscommunicating, it's always so complicated, and quite often, difficult to fix. So yeah, that was interesting.

I'm listening to Soon It's Gonna Rain from the Fantasticks. It makes me miss the guys. A lot. I should call them...I don't. I feel terrible, and it gets harder and harder to do the longer time goes on. Distance can suck it. I remember going to see this when their school put it on, and it was awkward, (not because I was with them), because LS completely ignored me. I thought she was going to confront me, after I had totally destroyed her front yard with some friends late one night. Oh, that was an interesting few months. But yeah, I enjoy this song.

Visiting, I feel, isn't an option anymore. I want to go back, but I feel as though I've drifted too far now. How sad. I realize that people come and go, and that things change, but it's still a hard pill to swallow. It's still difficult to accept the fact that I legitimately do not belong there anymore. That I don't know any of them. I know about them, but I do not know them. Lame Sauce.