it's all about the change

So, I went with Alyssa to see Candide at the Mem U theater. It was fantastic. And it just reminded me of senior year, and the ridiculous amount of reading that I never actually did. It also reminded me of the art project that we did for that book, and how I hate that I am not artistic, and yeah. It was strange, but I liked it a lot. The orchestra was brilliant, and as I sat in awe of them, I felt a little bit inadequate for not being a good violinist. I hate that feeling. This weekend was overall, pretty good. I ended up sleeping through class on Friday, which was kinda bad because I was supposed to be in Ed Psych, for extra credit, and I wasn't!!! Oh well, it happens.

But Thursday night was...really good. So I don't mind that I overslept. It was worth it in some respects. Primetime is literally the highlight of my week, every week. The talk was about what it is like to actually love others, and have a heart not simply for a "people" but for a person. To realize that God loves everyone you know, intimately. I want to love them like that. It was really, really good. It hit home. I simply sat there, and couldn't really find words to speak for awhile, because I was just thinking about my life, and how I go about things daily. I want to love people, I want to show them that there is kindness in the world, that there's hope, that there's joy. That Christ died not just for an elusive "people", but for them. For you. I don't know if you knew that, or if you believe it, but I pray that you do. It's crazy powerful when you accept it as a fact in your life, and base everything else off of it. It's life-altering.

I am so amazed at how drastically things have changed since school started. Since the end of TCX. Since I started to take my own beliefs and my own faith seriously, and let myself believe it instead of simply knowing it intellectually. I'm so grateful for the changes.

Oh, and on a separate note, this, is how I feel at the moment: http://xkcd.com/352/ Fosh.