he ate reeses pieces

Oh, how I love my schedule. I only have two classes on Fridays. So I'm done already! Haha, I got back to my room and Alyssa is still asleep. It makes me jealous, and feel somewhat accomplished as well. So I like it. Though, every time, I'm "this" close to falling asleep in Zoology because it's so darned dark in there. Teachers should know that there needs to be a better balance between visibility of the screen and light in the room if they want anyone to stay awake in the morning, on a Friday no less. Goodness. I'm happy. I made it through my working, and sleep deprivation, and got mostly back on track with living more normally.

Cru was last night, and I love it so much. Not only do I love seeing everyone, and feeling so at home, but I love worship, and I love hearing Danger (or anyone) talk about something meaningful. I do agree that we need to learn, together. And I'm so grateful for the freshman class, because I feel as though we are really striving to do just that. We are getting to know one another, and spend time with each other, and it's just...it's like a new family. We are brothers and sisters, in Christ, and I love them all. I'm so thankful for their friendship and advice, and support. I know that I could talk to any of them about what's going on, and they would listen, and pray about it with me.

I've never had that before, always feeling as though I was trudging through life and my failures alone. I've always had my family, but there's been something missing. Fellowship. I've had friends, but there's never been a close enough relationship to talk about what's really going on, and ask them to honestly and legitimately pray about it with me. Maybe I've been afraid, and I'm finally learning to open up, true. However, whatever it is that has changed, I'm ecstatic.

God is so wonderful. I mean, every day, it's something new, something else. It's brilliant. And astounding. I can't help but look at the world around me and see Him in everything. Even in my hurt, I am thankful. Even when I doubt about my future, and what it should look like, He gives me peace about it. I've been having difficulty with trying to plan out my life. Where I'll be five years from now, what I'll be doing in six months, etc.

I was sitting in Chipotle the other day, before work, reading my Bible, and listening to music. And I keep being amazed at His word. I came across Psalm 27:14 which says "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." And about two minutes later, my iPod played By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North. "Tell me where will you run, to where will you run? Cause I'll be by your side wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight these hands that are holding you." It was splendid. I mean, it was just...perfect. Do you have these moments? I hope and pray that you do.

He amazes me every day. I've been freaking out about something going on in my life, and then the other night, I stayed up, probably too late. I sat, I journaled, I prayed, and just gave it up to Him, knowing that I can't control it, and I don't want to. It brought such joy. It brought peace. What happens, is what is supposed to happen. It will be okay. I'm not supposed to know everything. And why was I doubting in the first place? Everything in my life that has seemed horrible, has brought me here! How glorious that is. My moving, my relationships, my failures, they all worked for good. I momentarily had forgotten how great our God is. What foolishness! I'm so thankful that He's here for me, even when I stumble. When my walk becomes a crawl, He's still there. What love. :)